The seventeen-year-old daughter of Dr. Ezzeldeen Abu al-Aish, Shadar, who was badly injured after an IDF shell hit her family home and killed her three sisters during Operation Cast Lead, recently moved to Canada with family.
In an interview to Ynet she recounted the difficult moments and spoke of her family's loss. "I miss my sisters and there are moments I can't stop the tears and I suddenly start crying," she said.
Al-Aish is certain she will return to Gaza, but in the meantime she enjoys the quiet life overseas.
On January 17, a day before the ceasefire, a shell hit the house of Dr. Abu al-Aish. Three of his eight daughters were killed, while Shadar and her cousin were badly injured. Initial claims asserted the shell had been fired by Palestinian forces. However an inquiry conducted by the IDF revealed that al-Aish's daughters were killed by Israeli fire.
Shadar is scheduled to undergo eye surgery shortly, as part of a series of operations following her injury. "I had one surgery in Tel Hashomer Medical Center and will undergo another one here. My eyes are in fairly good shape now," she said. "Of course I would have been happy to not have this injury, but it is a sort of scar I bear with me from that day. A painful living memory".
The decision to move to Canada was made jointly by the whole family, Shadar said. "We had the opportunity to move to Toronto or to Haifa and we ended up choosing Toronto."
Shadar told Ynet that personally she was happy with the decision, since the level of education in Canada was much higher than in Gaza. But the rest of the family were divided in their opinions, "On the first day they complained a little but now everyone is quite happy. My father works at the University of Toronto and my older sister has also found a job."
Until the school year resumes and Shadar starts attending the local college, she is taking English lessons. She wants to be a computers engineer and mainly focuses on leading a sane life.
"We must go on with life because they'll go on with or without us. I see myself getting married and having a career. I've been out of Gaza two times, but this is my first time in Canada. Everything here is very different from Gaza. Things are bigger and life here is much more comfortable and secure. In Gaza I was scared all the time. Here it's different and that's one of the reasons we came here", she said.
Shadar said it would take a while to make new friends. "Our neighborhood doesn’t have many Muslims, and I feel totally different than all the other youngsters…even so, I don’t think I'll have a hard time relating to them, people here are very open," she said.
Jews, however, are not a rare sight in the al-Aish's neighborhood. Shadar told Ynet, "My father's best friend here is Jewish. I have no problem being friends with Jews since I hold no grudge against the Jewish people or the Israelis. I only hold a grudge against the Israeli army." Shadar further added that she doesn't intend on hiding what she went through from her friends and will try to explain to them the current dire situation in Gaza.
She still regards Gaza as home. "I will miss it but will surely come back. I don't know about my father, but I'm here only temporarily. When I'm old enough I shall settle down in Gaza." Shadar tries to escape the memories from that terrible day, but they won't let go, "This event changed my life. It ended my childhood; since that day I'm no longer the same person, not a child anymore… suddenly I realized we're facing so many problems and this life isn't simple."
"Have I turned into a pessimist? No, I've turned into a realist. It made me appreciate life, knowing how to use each second of it," she said.
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